On Things That Matter

Mike: Oh, my God. Why does any of this matter? God.

Harvey: You see that guy over there by the fax? Take a good look. He’s never gonna make partner.

Mike: Okay. Let me guess. Because he threw a lousy rookie dinner?

Harvey: No, because he doesn’t get it.

Mike: Get what?

Harvey: He doesn’t get that doing good work isn’t the whole job. Part of getting it is that things like the dinner actually matter, even when you don’t think they do. Look, you were giving me shit this morning because I come and go when I want to. You know why I can do that? Because when I got here, I dominated. They thought I worked 100 hours a day. Now no matter what time I get in, nobody questions my ability to get the job done. Get it through your head. First impressions last. You start behind the eight ball, you’ll never get in front.

–Suits S01E03

I’ve been playing Suits on the background while I was plotting the site development plan of our group’s shoe complex. To be honest, I’m having a designer’s block at the moment and I’ve reached a point where I’m beginning to question everything I learned in the past.

Being a freshman in an architecture school, the professors would always emphasize on the significance of the process over the output. That’s why every plate involves a concept. Everything has to be well thought of and should never be a mere product of spontaneity and poor judgment. I didn’t buy this ‘process over product’ thing and shrugged the development of my design process off.

But I was impatient. I took shortcuts and by that, I mean giving more importance to what my plate would look like rather than paying more attention onto how I let the spaces fall into their respective places. Now, I’m reaping the dire consequences of my own laziness and lack of enthusiasm for learning.

I even gave up my extra curricular activities to give me more time for self-improvement, only to see (in the long run) that it’s merely an integral part of my defeatist attitude. I avoided all additional responsibilities. I don’t even hang out with my orgmates anymore. Still, all I did was give myself more time to procrastinate. I never dedicated all those spare time into honing my craft.

I’m desperate.

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