Honesty and Convenience

Why do people say things out of mere convenience? The world would be a much better place if people were more honest. Let me start.

There was this one time when my father came home from work. His limbs were bruised and from the way he limped, you could tell that he was really hurting. He asked my mother what he was supposed to do to the motorcycle rider who caused his injuries. But she only scoffed at him, going aggro about how he much relied on her in every decision he made. Boy, do I totally get the point now. Their marriage is nothing but a flimsy sheet of fucking scratch paper, leaving me scared shitless that my future won’t be any better. I wanted to tell her he didn’t deserve that but I wasn’t able to muster up enough courage.

When my best friend was recuperating from her old wounds of lost love and of loved one’s death, I was there for her. Now that she’s happier, I feel like I’m only an option, that I’m not as wanted as much as she needed me before. I could say this to her, but I fear the fighting that would follow will only put unnecessary stress on both of us. She said she missed me but I beg to differ.

I wish Kuya Renz would stop smoking. He’s like an older brother to me and I don’t want to him suffer the perils of succumbing to that vice the same way my father did.

I thought I found my new flame. But I’m having doubts because of his similarity with Adrian. I don’t want to lead anyone on when even I’m unsure of what I want.

I’m getting tired of receiving the shorter hand at everything. I’d love to resist but I fear the possibility of becoming more selfish in the long run.

I care about what people think of me more than I think I do.

This is the reason why people say things out of mere convenience. The world won’t be a much better place if people were more honest. I’m finished.


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