Maybe, I was only in it for the chase. But how do I start writing about something I can’t even explain?
My attraction to him was enigmatic in the first place. At first I thought that he was a present-day reminder of my past “what-if’s” but I knew he was more than that. After a few jokes and some casual conversation, I began drawing the conclusion that I was interested and for reasons, I did not know.
Knowing how arbitrary and impulsive my feelings could get, I probably shouldn’t even be writing about this. Who knows? A few weeks from now, there’s a chance that I’ll publish an entry debunking this post and how I’m starting to see him with moist eyes again blah blah blah.
But maybe, this is also a defense mechanism: to combat an incoming turn down with an outright rejection.