Until Then

I was asking Carlo what he did with the stairs in the Penthouse plate but he walked away at mid – sentence. Luigi was all like “awww” while rubbing my back as I theatrically reached out to him while mouthing “come baaack.”

And he did. It turns out that he walked away to get his plate back and show me that he has separated the stairs from the penthouse unit.

That is what’s happening right now, in a much more poignant manner. That plate is my happiness. And even though it may be taking its unprecedented leave right now, I know it will come back as soon as I am ready to ground my delight upon myself and not on other people.

I won’t be bitter. I won’t try to deal the same damage they’ve inflicted upon me. I won’t let it get the best of me. I won’t even bother keeping up charades because I’m dead set on handling this pain my way.

I’ll be fine. And when I’m back, I’ll be revving at full throttle, ready to kick ass again.


All in Due Time

While we were lounging around the Arki Admin courtyard in our attempt to discuss our entry for the Build Forward competition, a fifth year fanatically called out to Kuya Joey and said, “Kuya Joey, gagraduate na ako!”

To say that it was a heart – warming scene would do him injustice. Hell, I can’t even narrate the scene with considerable impact. But words alone probably won’t suffice in expressing his relief and euphoria in being that close to finishing his baccalaureate degree.

I, too, want a “Kuya Joey, gagraduate na ako” moment. But earning that fleeting moment of glory would take time. And it’s time I’ve got plenty of, in my disposal.


On Leagues or Something Like That

He’s clearly out of my league. And I’d be lying if I’ll say that I’m not, in any way, intimidated. But I won’t aim lower just because it’s easier or more convenient or less painful. I’ll reach higher so that one day, I’ll be able to stand as his equal.

Si Kuya Emman

May problema pala si Kuya Emman.

Itatanong ko sana kung paano namin malalaman kung hindi naman siya nagsasabi. Pero bakit nga naman siya magsasabi sa amin kung isa kami sa mga nagpapabigat ng problema niya? Dapat pa nga kaming magpasalamat kasi nagsabi si Kat kasi sa totoo lang, akala ko okay lang ang lahat.

Ewan. Masyado siguro akong nasanay sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin na bukas magpahayag ng saloobin nila. Nakalimutan ko nang maging sensitibo sa mga emosyong pilit tinatago ng iba. Yung mga tao pa namang hindi humihingi ng tulong ang tunay na nangangailangan nito. Napagtanto ko ring napakababaw pala ng nararamdaman ko. Marami pang mas importanteng bagay sa mundo at kakitiran ng utak ang isiping pag – ibig lamang ang nagpapaikot dito.

Sana hindi tumigil sa pagtuturo si Kuya Emman. Pero sa ngayon, wala akong ibang magawa kundi tapusin ang Construction plate namin.

4 Reasons Why Sir Chua is the Perfect Thesis Adviser

Disclaimer: This is a Sir Chua Appreciation Post in disguise. If you’re rolling your eyes from the title and the warning alone, I dearly suggest that you stop reading because it’s only bound to get worse. You have been warned, so read at your own discretion.

I went solo on our Tropical Design plate because I wanted to expand my portfolio, something I wouldn’t have been able to do, had I opted to share the plate with someone. It meant having to do all the design concepts, site analysis, orthographic drawings and perspectives all on my own and on top of the regular load of other major subjects. It’s no joke, I’m telling you. Nevertheless, going solo has some “unwritten” perks; you know, like some fine print in a contract you don’t really get to read but are still bound to be awesome anyway.

Sharing 10 minutes with Sir Chua got me thinking of my academic future. (Wait, was it even 10 minutes? I’m not really sure. But I’m certain that it is the best fucking 10 minutes of my life, bar none.) Let me now break down to you the result of my satori: 4 Reasons Why Sir Chua is the Perfect Thesis Adviser.

1. Tunnel Vision

Sure, there were other people around the faculty room but my eyes have this special filtering mechanism that automatically shut other people out, so it didn’t really matter. And yes, I’m taking the “tunnel vision” concept out of context. But it’s one of the rare proofs that I could actually focus on something without having my attention unserviceably diverted to other matters. That’s a good sign, right?

2. No Consultation Drama

Aside from Ma’am Araneta, I hardly ever found a professor who could point out design blunders without destroying the spirit of the designer in any way or imposing their own design style and methodology. This one is not a personal bias. I’m pretty sure that if you ask Anna, Carla and Riva, they’d say something similar about Sir Chua’s natural ability to guide you to the right direction.

He’s like the beacon to my lost ship, like the traffic light to the traffic, like the peanut to my butter, err, or something like that.

3. Dat Smile

Dat Smile

To us mortals, this is what you call a glimpse of heaven. It’s sweet and gentle and cute and just plain adorable. Ugh. To him, I’d like to say, “God must have spent a little more time on you.”

4. The Chua Effect

After the Thesis Deliberation season last year, Dindo pointed out that the top theses in BS Arch and B Larch usually included a couple somewhere in the ranks. Even without proper (and sane) logic, that conjecture actually makes sense. What better motivation do you need when you have the love of your life as your inspiration in finishing your thesis with flying colors? *wink wink, Kuya Alver, ahem ahem, Ate Nancy*

I’m not saying that Sir Chua is the love of my life because that would be a dumb exaggeration. But I figure that it ought to have the same effect on me since I basically spent the whole weekend working on a detailed sketchup model when we were only required floor plans for the first batch of consultations.

Well, that’s that. I just needed to get the fandom out of my system so I could concentrate on our Construction plate. After all, the body could only tolerate the rush of hormones for so long.

P.S. Maybe I should try the “Love is an Open Door” sequence on Sir Chua. Hmmm…

Vodka Goggles

I want to drink. And no, I’m not talking about water, or milk, or coffee or any other non – alcoholic beverages you may have in mind.

I want to feel the warmth and faint stinging sensation of the vodka on my taste buds, through my throat and finally, down in my stomach. I’d let it wallow there, even for just a fraction of a second and watch the whole world in a dazed, slightly drugged perspective. I want to roll over stained bunk beds, to eat the corners off glossy magazines, and to throw cabbages and chocolate at people. I want to trip and crawl my way to the kitchen and wonder what got me there in the first place.

I want to silence the contradicting voices inside my head, to tame my demons, and to hear only the thumping sound inside my chest even just until the next hang over. I want to drink until my breathing becomes a bit labored, and my skin is flustered with the toil of my heart to keep pumping blood through constricted blood vessels.

I want to drink. But all I have is water, or milk, or coffee, and you in my mind.